Love Over Verses & Love Through the Verses
11: my journey as a Christian ally, what I’ve found the bible says that affirms the lgbtqia+ community, and where I am now.
Growing up an Ally
For as far back as I can recall, I have been an ally of the LGBTQ+ community. Being anti-bully as a kid translated to wanting to be a voice of the oppressed as an adult. I’m sure being an adoptee contributed to my desire to make others feel they belonged. And when I think back to when I first experienced a personal connection to a gay person, I think back to 7th grade. Glee had just premiered and I was introduced to one of my new favorite characters: the bullied, adorably sweet Kurt Hummel and my real-life equivalent (the less flamboyant and way more terrified) Skye. At this time, being gay was not a popular thing to be. Boys called each other the fa-word as an insult and people being gay was talked about as gross and taboo.
I was the first person Skye came out to as gay. He tearfully explained that he trusted me to still be his friend after telling me. Of course, I celebrated him and even helped him come out to his parents, who were thankfully accepting as well. The meek, anxious little Skye I knew became more of a person— becoming funny and personable and relaxed. I think this was the year the switch flipped inside my heart from “yeah, I guess love is love” to “ALLY!” I’m pretty sure my old DeviantArt Kurt Hummel fan group is still active on the site.
Once I got to high school, I was on my way to becoming a Christian. One of the conversations I had to have with my wonderful small group leader before I was baptized included confessing my fear of joining a group that thought LGBTQ+ people were bad or going to hell. She shared with me about her brother identifying as gay and him living as a gay man had nothing to do with whether he would go to heaven or not. She personally did not think it was a sin. This very much calmed my nerves to know there was a spectrum of beliefs within Christianity. There was room for me and my rainbow heart.
In college, many of my friends considered themselves part of the community. It was through listening to their experiences and my own research that I really started to understand the spectrums of gender and sexuality. Things were starting to click for me. My midweek church group was welcoming to all people as well and the pastor who ran the group was an amazingly inspiring speaker. I never had to worry if my friends would be offended because his messages of hope were for the average college student, gay or not, just trying to figure themselves out.
“It just doesn’t make sense to me.”
But I still knew people who believed being gay or transgender was a sin. It has always made me feel uneasy and it also just didn’t make sense to me. Some of these people I knew were disgusted by gay relationships or appalled at the idea of someone masculine wearing a dress. Even if the gay people in question identified as believers, they were still regarded as “not of God.” My head would spin. My parents and my sister have always known how passionate I can get about topics of human rights— whether it be the BLM movement, women’s rights, or LGBTQ+ rights. It was a headache and a half. How could I feel so passionately for something people claimed was unGodly? I read about God being a God of justice and fairness. It was impossible for me to think that people screaming that “the gays were going to hell” even knew Jesus at all.
After Glee, another meaningful show for me was a remake of 2003’s Queer Eye. I personally felt that Netflix’s Queer Eye was such a big step forward in demystifying being gay, even in my own family. Queer Eye showcases five queer men changing people’s lives for the better, no matter the age, gender, sexual orientation, or religion. The show is a celebration of life and you can’t help but feel good while watching it. Again, I could not see a reason to be against such goodness and excitement.
“Sunshine on the street at the parade, but you would rather be in the dark ages.”
What does God really think? Do I want to know?
In church, the reason to be against homosexuality and transgenderism was because it “went against God’s design” for marriage and relationships. Whenever the topic was brought up in a church service, it would infiltrate my stomach and I would feel sick for the rest of the week. They said to love the people that “struggled” with these types of feelings, but there were so many rude assumptions about “how weird” the feelings were that it was hard to spot the love.
Creating my blog has really motivated me to think through certain topics and write them out, and in this case, research them. I have known how I felt in my heart for forever, but I wanted to really do my research and, as someone who identifies as a Christian, see what the bible says. So, since college, I have had the same todo list item: to find out what the bible says. Not only was this a huge task, but it was also one that could possibly change everything for me. And I was terrified of that idea.
It felt as if I had to choose which parts of me were okay to be. Would I be a Christian or an ally? I always wanted to be both but I felt like that wasn’t allowed. It made me feel sick to my stomach. This topic has been heavy on my heart for years, but came to a head as I came to terms with its weight on me this past year. I rounded up a bunch of articles that I planned to read when I could stomach it. And I anxiously waited for courage and inspiration to strike.
“I’m pretty sure I’m heard. At least I know I’m speaking. But I feel like a fool ‘cause I can’t hear you listening.”
Facing The Rainbow
While waiting, I pondered why this all meant so much to me. I’m an advocate for the BLM movement, but I’m also Colombian, so I understand judgement as a person of color. I support women’s rights, but I am also a woman who has experienced sexism firsthand. The internalized homophobic part of me had kept me from facing truths about myself. I have been so passionate to support the LGBTQ+ community, but I am also a part of the community.
This realization first came to me in college but it felt like it didn’t matter as I was already in a relationship with Z. I still joke about being “Z-sexual” which was a term I came up with because I was with the person I would be spending my life with. However, I realized over time that being bisexual was still a part of me and ignoring it felt like I was lying to myself. Thankfully, Z is amazing and my self-discovery did not shake him or our committed relationship. He was extremely supportive and still is, even giving me gifts to celebrate pride month. Over the years, I have researched lots of terms that rang true for me spanning demisexual, queer, and pansexual, but I usually explain myself as bisexual, as it is the most popular and understood term. Labels aren’t super important for me, but it’s nice to understand the general area I fall into.
Phew. That was the scariest part. I definitely want to share it, but I know it will be many people’s first time hearing it and it may be hard to take in. I wanted the decision to share this with others to fully be my decision. I have been in situations that pressured me into sharing information I didn’t feel safe sharing and I wanted to make sure if I took the mic this time, it was my choice. And it is. And it is a RELIEF.
“If you have an egg and you open it from the outside, only death comes out. But if the egg opens up from the inside, life comes out.”
— Ricky Martin
Finding the Truth
Now that I knew these things for certain about myself, I had to start reading these articles! I read through ones that were against the gays, which was expected. What wasn’t expected was just how callous and rude they were. The vibe was that being gay was “OBVIOUSLY bad” but was only followed up with their interpretation of the verse. No love in sight. No room for being a human. I would have been offended if there was truth in these first articles, but alas. After many dead-ends, I came to the longest and what seemed most credible article. It was from a Christian LGBTQ+ website which was exciting, but also felt like the end of my search. Was there going to be a happy ending to this or not? No matter the answer, I needed to know it. All I had to do was jump.
There I was, in the middle seat on a 45 minute flight, crying my eyes out at the figurative bright blue sky I finally felt was mine to behold. This article changed my life. In that moment, I felt like the Christian part of me and the queer part of me could live harmoniously for the first time. Before, I chose to believe love mattered more than the verses, leaning on the greatest commandment of all: to love each other. But as I clung to this as my only bit of scripture, I realized just how emaciated my spiritual being was. This good news of God being the loving, accepting God I always hoped he was was nourishing me back to life. And I was able to dive into the bible for the very first time. I found love within the verses. I found that love was supported by the verses.
“You think being yourself means being unworthy. And it’s hard to love with a heart that’s hurting.”
After my bible verse discovery, I wanted to dance around in joy for the next week. But when you feel emotionally unsafe, you have to hide parts of yourself. I felt the need to hide my joy, even my joy about connecting with the Lord. I had just unlocked something in my soul, and yet I couldn’t bring myself to celebrate it due to the supposed beliefs of those around me. Surely, my joy would be questioned and, surely, it would be squashed. I didn’t want to do that to my newly healed self.
So, I read the article again and again, feeling so comforted by the explanations. I felt so affirmed as a queer person and I also loved a follow-up article about God’s design including trans people. I don’t want to give it all away, but I do want to mention some of my favorite parts…Like how God’s creation exists in spectrums, how the LGBTQ+ community is already welcomed into the body of Christ, or how it’s more likely that sin is found in the “oppressive and damaging ways we treat each other, and not in the very fact of someone’s existence.”
“God’s design for Christian partnership is about reflecting the truest and sweetest love that anyone could know; that is the self-giving, ever-enduring, liberating love between God and creation made possible for us through Christ. A tall order, but nevertheless something countless LGBTQ+ individuals and couples have been living into and continue to live into today.”
—The article on Sexuality
For those who may already feel a certain way about the community, please know that the writing is friendly and open, not angry. The author refers back to scripture often and speaks from a place of love. There is also lots of information on terms of the LGBTQ community if you feel hesitant due to that. All I ask is that you read them with an openness to understand, not only me but the 9% of adults globally who identify publicly as LGBTQ+ and the 1.7% that possess an intersex trait. Prejudice stems from fear of the unknown and everything becomes less scary as you learn more.
For those feeling similar to me, I hope these articles give you relief like they did me— a gift from our God of peace. There are churches out there that are LGBTQ-affirming. There are many believers that see no inherent sin in a rainbow flag. We belong in the body of believers, even if the Christians we grew to trust in the past felt differently.
No matter what you believe, questioning what you grew up believing feels scary. Deconstructing your faith opens the possibility for your beliefs to change. But there is so much hope that can be found in other ways of thinking and different interpretations. Sometimes deconstructing can end up with you believing the same thing in a different font, one that you chose. That’s the best part: I am allowed to choose what I believe. My faith is my own.
“I don’t need you to respect me, I respect me. I don’t need you to love me, I love me. But I want you to know you could know me, if you change your mind.”
We’re allowed to change our minds and if we need guidance, knowledge truly is power. I recommend that everyone and their mother go read these two articles about what the bible says on:
I Believe
So, if it wasn’t crystal clear: No matter who you’re attracted to, no matter what gender you are, no matter what physical parts you have— I believe God loves you as you are. I do not believe living as a member of the community is a sin, I do not believe marrying someone of the same sex is a sin, and I do not believe gender-affirming care is a sin. As a passionate advocate for equality, I want the church to be more accepting of all walks of life, and I want kids of gay parents to be able to see themselves in books and Disney movies, as well as be welcomed into church. I want the church to be on the right side of history. Everyone is human and deserves to feel heard and respected.
One of my new favorite quotes from scripture comes from Acts 5. Gamaliel, a teacher who defended the persecuted apostles of the early church, said something that applies heavily today.
“So in this situation, you should just leave these men to themselves. For if this plan or undertaking originates with men, it will fade away and come to nothing. But if this movement is of God, you won’t be able to stop it. And you might discover that you were fighting God all along!”
Gamaliel’s words convinced the council.
—Acts 5:38-39 TPT
“You’re not alone, ‘cause you’re here with me and nothing’s ever gonna bring us down ‘cause nothing can keep me from loving you.”
👏🏽🏳️🌈 I love this SO MUCH! 🏳️🌈👏🏽
💕🥵💯🏳️🌈💕