Celebrating Birthdays
16: my feelings on birthdays, how we celebrate, & freebie tips for your birthday!
“The great thing about getting older is you don't lose all the other ages you've been." — Madeleine L'Engle
Everyone I know has different opinions on birthday celebrations. Some people don’t want the spotlight on them, others are afraid to ask for it, while there are still others that feel like birthdays are always a disappointment. I have friends that plan their birthdays months in advance and ones that keep their birthday a secret if they can help it. It’s so interesting to me that everyone views birthdays so differently. I shared a poll on Instagram that had the following results:
I can’t help but think that all these adults want so badly not to appear selfish by celebrating themselves; whereas children are allowed to celebrate themselves. It also happens to be easier to host birthday parties for children because decor is cheaper, activities are abundant, and you can easily invite people from the child’s classroom. As we get older, it becomes more and more work to have and keep friendships. And it becomes increasingly expensive to throw a party with activities and ambiance that adults would enjoy.
It’s a little sad to me that 30% of people didn’t want to do anything special. It is not surprising that barely anyone said that they would want to be considered birthday royalty. Most people said they wanted to celebrate because it’s fun. Because birthdays are fun! It’s fun to have an excuse to have a good time with friends. We need more reasons to be together.
I Fricken Love Birthdays
I think birthdays are more than just the anniversary of when you were born. It’s almost not about that at all to me. It’s a time set apart for those who know you and love you to celebrate your existence in their lives. I think that is truly the best! When other people celebrate my birthday with me by remembering my birthday, gifting me presents, or just overall wanting to be with me and talk to me, it’s a wonderful feeling. It’s a day that helps me remember that I am loved. If I’m going through a bad time, my birthday makes me think, “I can’t be that bad right?”
When we’re born, we’re just little lumps of clay, ready to be molded into a person. As we grow, it becomes less of a celebration of our existence as a beloved little baby, and becomes a celebration of who we have become. As someone who enjoys reflecting, I also get to look back at all versions of myself I bring with me. As I leveled up in years and skills, I collected experiences that have shaped me and made me who I am. I love celebrating this every year, and had a wonderful time celebrating this year by…
Receiving Gifts
🎁 Yay! Depending on everyone’s own love languages, they may or may not enjoy it when someone hands them something wrapped in a bow. I definitely am not a “gift for gift’s sake” person, but I do enjoy getting a thoughtful gift from someone who listens and knows me (or has found me on Elfster). For me, a hand-written letter can be more meaningful than an expensive gift. And one little thing I pointed out or mentioned to you once before can mean more than 20 vaguely Gabbish gifts.
This year, the gift of hearty Asian food, my favorite bundty dessert, handmade earrings, and Disney ears themed to one of my favorite classics (Aristocats) were just a few of the amazing gifts my family and friends shared with me for my birthday. It’s just one of the many ways to show your love for someone. It feels like I’m seen and known. Like they care enough to know and remember what I like. I also love the gift of good conversations, which I got plenty of as well. My need for words of affirmation definitely makes a deep talk a gift all in itself.
Being With Loved Ones
Quality Time is another love language often forgotten among other obvious ones. Acts of service is nice and physical touch through a squeeze of a hug is great, but spending quality time talking, laughing, sharing a meal, and just being together… that’s the stuff. To be able to have your guard down and just be with those you love is everything.
And this is why I think therapy is so important. So many of my relationships have been improved by my ability to communicate boundaries. And I have a better experience with those who respect my boundaries, as you’d expect. Spending time with people you know have your best interest, not just in their own definition, can be rare. I am lucky enough to have a community of support and to have family willing to go to family therapy to improve our quality time together. Mutual love and respect is everything.
Going To My First Pride
When I saw that Phoenix Pride Festival was happening on my birthday weekend, I knew I had to go! I have never been to a Pride event before and— having just come out through my secret public blog— it felt like the best time to go! I wasn’t sure what to expect but any expectations I did have were blown out of the water. Me deciding to share my sexuality and beliefs regarding the LGBTQ+ community definitely took courage. I had been wrestling with the decision to talk about it for a while. But when you hide something about yourself, shame is unavoidable. Finally sharing that post was so freeing and it wiped away my shame, even in spaces where I wasn’t open about that part of me.
But actually GOING to a Pride event? Next Level. Only in Disney have I met people so kind and truly welcoming. There was no hint of judgement, in looks or words. I didn’t realize how happy I could feel at an event with other people in such an inclusive community. They had interpreters at every performance stage, multiple quiet spots for those who needed it, and even wheel-chair accessible transportation around the festival. I just felt like everyone really cared about how each other felt. It was truly one of my favorite days ever. Not only did I get tons of free rainbow merch, but I got the most beautiful pair of earrings I have ever purchased! Yay Pride!
And Getting FREE Stuff!
If you haven’t yet, I highly recommend perusing the internet for birthday freebies in your state (like here or here if you’re in AZ). Here are my freebie experience this year:
Tropical Smoothie Cafe: It’s super easy to sign up on their app and get your free smoothie on your birthday!
Crumbl: The app sends a free cookie code for your birthday day! But this actually extends to a week, I found out.
Starbucks: Just for the day, enjoy a free bite or drink of ANY size for free, using the app to get the coupon. You do need to have a Starbucks account for over a month beforehand.
Kirkland’s: Sadly, they are in the middle of a transition out of another prize, and they are waiting on the restock. So, they said they were temporally not doing their birthday celebration, which would have been $20% off and a free gift.
Grimaldis: Another sad no here, but it’s because you have to be active in the app sometime in the last 2 months. I was not, so I did not get a free medium cheese pizza. :((
Sephora and Ulta: I’ve gotten both of these free birthday gifts in previous years so I knew it worked and was so simple, but NOT THIS YEAR APPARENTLY. Both places were out of their birthday prizes (and both of these places usually have multiple to choose from). I had my account set up and would just need to give my number and get my free gift at the front desk during my birthday month. The girls at Ulta were not empathizing, but the Sephora girls told me I could come back and get one anytime and they were super apologetic. Shoutout to Ana with the cool accent!
Nothing Bundt Cakes: Super easy peazy, no account necessary— show your ID and get a FREE bundlet of a flavor in stock.
Just Be Youtiful (local boutique): I mentioned it was my birthday and they gave me a free item equal to $10 off. Such sweet old ladies in this Christian store, even though styles are a hit or a miss there. Haha
In summary, I encourage everyone CELEBRATE their birthdays. Don’t be afraid to tell others that it’s your birthday. You could save money by getting free stuff and have better experiences doing what YOU wanna do! Celebrating my birthday as an adult can be just as fulfilling if not more fulfilling than celebrating my birthday as a child. As long as you are surrounded by the right type of people and you communicate your wants, you can’t go wrong. Celebrating my birthday has always felt like a day I get a free pass to be myself, but I’m realizing every day on earth is a day I can choose to be myself. I don’t have to wait until October every year.
At the Pride Festival, no one had to know it was my birthday to let me be me; I want to surround myself with people who want me to reach my full potential as myself. I don’t need to change to reach their expectations or be their preferred version of me. I can choose to live authentically as myself every day and, damn it, I’m gonna try my best to do just that!
Time for some TLCCC
Treating myself to: I’ve been spoiled this week by others! Me to me, some amazing earrings from Wove (rainbows shown below)
Listening to: Noah Kahan and oddly enough David Archuleta… AND 1989 (TV)!!!
Crafting: plans for a possible small business idea….?!
Craving: Asian cuisine (gimme dem dumplins)
Caring SO much about: Businesses that support the rainbow 🏳️🌈
Thanks for reading!
Click here to listen to the music of Gabbin’ Away Again and click above to subscribe if you haven’t already! Be sure to LIKE and SHARE this post with friends you think would relate. When’s your birthday? How do you celebrate it? I hope you have a wonderful week! ✨
I love the pictures from pride festival! You’re beaming with happiness ♥️