Do You Believe in Santa Claus?
25: my feelings on believing in Santa, believing in God, and different traditions we may or may not have grown up with
Opening Note:
I want to note the obvious and say that everyone has the right to celebrate what they want. This article is about my experience with Santa, so this article is pretty much 100% Christmas.
But I know this is not the only holiday worth celebrating. I hope those who celebrate Hanukkah are able to come together even in the midst of crisis. I am praying that the terrifying goings-on are finally stopped.
And I also know— according to my elementary choir’s holiday setlist and no one else I have ever met— that some people celebrate Kwanza. Happy Kwanza to those who celebrate, wherever you are! If you know of other holidays I’m missing, would love to know those as well.
But anywho— Merry {What You celebrate} and a Happy New Year!
Back to our scheduled programming!
THAT Time of Year!
It’s my favorite time of year! Even in famously summery Arizona, it’s feeling more like Christmas. It’s cold enough to cuddle up and watch a movie (on some days here in the valley), everyone’s thinking of what to gift each other, and most people are inspired to come together to spend some (hopefully) quality time with their loved ones. People put up fantastic lights like the ones the Pratt Brothers put together (going tonight of rain allows!), make gingerbread houses, host themed gift exchanges (Favorite Things, Thriftmas, Wig-themed Secret Santas… all on my list for future Christmases!), and, famously, tell the story of a jolly old man who delivers presents to every child in the world.
Both my husband and I grew up believing in Santa and getting gifts from Santa each year, but had different reactions to finding out our parents were behind the gifts. Zach was able to accept the new information peacefully, while I began to question everything, feeling shocked that my parents had kept this secret from me. How my husband and I would go about sharing the story of Santa Claus to my son has been on my mind since before he was even on the horizon of our lives. There are some great resources out there to help parents take a thoughtful approach to the topic of Santa and I recommend that everyone read up on that literature and decide from it what you will. I’ve been putting off writing this article as I am still not for certain how I will go about the story of Santa with my own kids. I hope you enjoy my ponderings as I explain my current headspace involving Old Saint Nick.
As the article suggests, I made a list of the positives and negatives of presenting our children with the Santa story as we had it presented to us.
Pros of Santa Story: fun, crafty, magical, how we grew up
Cons of Santa Story: lying, hard work, heartbreak, no foundation of trust
People who know me and my Christmas obsession may be surprised by my leaning towards the Cons list. My husband, however, is leaning towards the Pros. We, of course, need to be on the same page about this before we tell our son anything but— since he is not even 2-years-old at this point— we have a little time to consider how we can tell the truth and keep the magic alive.
“Believe in what your heart is saying.”
Make-Believe Fun
I’ve always been someone who believed in Santa. I grew up loving the magic of Christmas. I always pushed my family to decorate earlier and keep up decor for longer. I was fascinated by Santa lore and studied it dutifully. I had a reoccurring dream year-round that I was an elf and it’s still my favorite series of dreams to this day. And, to top of the building evidence of my Christmas Mania, my first crush was Bernard, Santa’s head elf from the first Santa Clause movie.
Finding out Santa wasn’t real happened the same night I thought for sure he was. My cousin, my sister, and I heard loud sleigh bells outside my window around midnight on Christmas Eve and I felt awestruck. It felt like a glimmer of hope that perhaps… magic existed. Soon after this, I went to get a cup of water and saw my mom and my aunt carrying tons of empty laundry baskets back up the stairs. I shut my door quickly, but I knew my mom used laundry baskets to carry a big amount of things down the stairs at once. And what would they be carrying except the boatload of presents I always woke up to on Christmas morning?
I had known the evidence was stacked up against him, but I wanted to believe in Santa. I knew that this wasn’t mature of me or sensible or realistic, but I’ve never been a fan of those characteristics. I always said I believed in Santa the many years I spent hanging out with children for a living. Believing in Santa feels like putting a name and a face to the feeling we get when we give a gift to someone we care about. I believe in that cause.
“I believe that dreams and plans and wishes can come true.”
I am someone who is open to the belief in things unseen. To be a believer in God, I have to have faith in a God that is unseen. But I am also open to the belief that magical creatures like fairies and dragons exist, but even more open to the belief that they (at least) once existed. I’m not sitting here believing in everything there is to believe in. I don’t want to believe in the scary ghosts that haunt, so I don’t, but I believe in spirits of loved ones visiting us. I have no need to believe in the Easter Bunny, and had many bad dreams about that weirdo rabbit. I think the Tooth Fairy story is fun, but I subscribe to the Disney Fairies fairy lore and collecting human baby teeth doesn’t seem like a talent any fairy would find useful. I know there is power in believing and I choose to believe in concepts that bring about the world I want to exist.
Lies & Truths
Telling children “alternative truths” has always been such a common thing to do. I was terrified of getting “sugar bugs” as a child if I didn’t brush my teeth. I was convinced I’d be arrested if I turned on the light in the backseat while my parents were driving at night. And I was also scared to get coal in my stocking as a final proof to everyone that I was a bad person. The times are definitely changing and, in the future, I think more and more kids will be given the respect they deserve as people. As a parent, this means teaching the truth earlier. I want my kids to be able to come to me with anything and expect my honesty. Like all people, my kids will go through times of skepticism and questioning their beliefs, but I don’t want this to be driven by their mistrust in what I’ve told them. I want them to feel confident that I respect and trust them enough to tell them the truth.
I’ve thought about explaining Santa as a story that we like to play out. I would love to share the history of Saint Nicholas and explain that our family likes to make-believe that Santa still gives gifts as a magical figure. I want to be sure the gifts from Santa are gifts a child of any home life could receive. It breaks my heart to hear stories of children who hear Santa gave their friends extravagant gifts but didn’t give them anything of the sort. Perhaps the gifts we label from Santa are small and/or homemade. And, as a family, we could give each other the gifts anonymously, like Secret Santa without a reveal. I like the idea of explaining a selfless act as one that you do not have to take credit for.
“One selfless act always sparks another.”
—Klaus
Additionally, as someone who believes in God, I want there to be a distinct difference in our traditions with Santa and our traditions as believers in Jesus. With Santa, I believe in the spirit of selfless giving, but I don’t want my kids to think I truly believe an old man steps inside our home on Christmas Eve. I don’t want my kids to think that God is something I don’t really believe in. I mostly don’t want my kids to think they need to work at being good throughout the year to deserve a show of love. I don’t want the traits of Santa and God to be confused (especially the Santa in Rudolph, who is a JERK). My belief in God’s unconditional love is just that and requires no works to prove we’re worthy of love.
Truth Be Told
I want to teach my children that every family believes different things. And even if we really like what we believe, we need to respect everyone else’s beliefs as well. It doesn’t mean we have to take them on or not share our own, but I think it would be great to avoid arguments with kids at school over what is and isn’t real. Some kids believe in Santa and some kids don’t. I love the idea of asking my kids what they believe.
Everyone’s beliefs are their own and I want that to be known to my children. Our beliefs as a family do not need to be pressed upon other kids. They can be shared and celebrated, but you can’t force someone to believe in something they don’t believe in or don’t want to believe in. I would love if my kids were curious about other families’ beliefs. It’s respectful to ask questions and learn about other traditions and beliefs. I will encourage them to be curious. We can choose to believe what we want as a family, but my kids will have their time to decide what they believe as well. And no choice they make will stop my love for them, because my love is not conditional.
I Believe in Santa Claus
I choose to believe in God and view the world through that lense. I believe the celebration of Christmas is about celebrating Jesus’ birth, but I believe the traditions of gift-giving are a very tangible metaphor that helps my family understand the reason for the season. I choose to believe in the magic of Christmas that Santa represents and I want to share that feeling with my kids. The Santa character in Klaus is an awesome example (the trailer does NOT do it justice) of a humble person working to be the hands and feet of Jesus.
“If you can’t believe, if you can’t accept anything on faith, then you’re doomed for a life dominated by doubt.”
—Santa, Miracle on 34th Street
I will share my beliefs with my children and share what has given me the most joy in my own life. They get to decide for themselves what they believe to be true. Yes, this may invite some uncomfortable conversations, with questions I may or may not have the answer to, but that’s okay. I want to take a thoughtful approach to the topic of Santa with my kids and be sure they know my love for them is not something up for debate.
Happy Holidays!
I know that this time of year isn’t a happy time for everyone and two Christmas posts this month may have been too much for you. Maybe you’re reading this feeling overwhelmed or annoyed by my God talk, feeling uninspired by my nostalgic movie clips about believing in Santa, or you don’t agree with my current, not-set-in-stone plans for my kids. I hope all of these things that warm my heart can get the gears turning in yours on what fills you with the same feeling. I find it hard not to believe in the power of love and how it bonds us together. Whether you believe in God or Santa or no one, I hope you can celebrate your belief in that.
“Can’t touch it, see it, but you can always feel it. The greatest things you’ll ever know are invisible.”
Time for some TLCCC
Treating myself to: time to play It Takes Two for the second time with stitched characters. I wish I had more time to play video games. 🙈
Listening to: My Cozy Lil’ Christmas Playlist— snuggle in and take a listen 😝
Crafting: Lots of stuff on Canva, which I am obsessed with. (Sorry to my graphic design team that hates Canva)
Craving: Haru Sushi!! Not Harumi, but that’s mostly because I can’t really do raw sushi… 😅 The texture freaks me out. I’m a bento box girl. 🍱
Caring SO much about: Watching all the Christmas movies on our homemade Advent! And also reading the article about making a life strategy. (More on that next week.) But alsoooo