I Married My High School Sweetheart
27: introducing my husband and telling the story of how we met, how we got together, what he’s been to me in my life, and how I recommend falling in love with someone like him
Warning: Romantic Storytime ahead!
“Swear to be overdramatic and true to my loveeeeerrrrr.”
I don’t think either of our parents particularly desired for their eldest children to marry the high schooler they had their first real relationship with, but here we are 10 years of love later, 5 years married!
Hi! I’m Gabby and I married my high school sweetheart. Meet Zach!
High School Love
I met Zach when I was 15 years old. We were in the same media tech class my sophomore and his junior year. I technically met him a summer earlier at CIY camp, but it was dark and I barely remember what he looked like. We really became friends in class, with him wowing me by knowing all the words to countless Disney songs, including songs from a shared favorite of ours: Tangled. He invited me to sit at his lunch table. I remember it well: him mentioning a seat would be open for me if I wanted it and him turning around in slow motion and walking away. Well, maybe it wasn’t slow motion, but the lunchtime DJ always made things cinematic for me.
I fought my crush on Zach to everyone who asked, as it was glaringly obvious. I even have journal entries where I try to convince myself that I don’t like him, but I did like-like him nonetheless. I invited him to my 16th birthday party and he arrived late, not to seem cool but because he had to finish his missing math assignments to attend the party, which was actually cool of him to do for me. I had too high of hopes for that night with Zach, picturing a teen movie kiss, but Zach was not quite there yet.
He claims to not have noticed my feelings for him (though he did admit to asking me if I had a crush on him via ask.fm back in the day), but both of our parents saw our friendship and hoped more was to come for us, but Zach just didn’t put it together until one day after school when he was driving me home. He had just broken up with a classmate and I had started hanging out with a friend of his (or two hehe, oh Gabby… more on that in a later post) when he realized who had been there all along: me! It happened exactly like this:
“I don’t like that you are with [that guy].”
“Oh… Do you think it’s because… you… want to be with me?”
“Maybe….yeah.”
And then we held hands for the first time. And that’s what we call the moment we started dating as he never officially asked me, which I poked fun at him for for a while (for evermore). He had just been fully committed to me after that, without any DTR. Silly, wonderful Zachy. But we had been best friends for close to 2 years at that point. Taking our relationship to the next level was equally important to both of us. We were serious about this.
Meeting the family on the first date seemed fitting for us, at the rate of our seriousness. Our first date came the weekend after we held hands, when his Grammy had allowed him to “invite a friend” to see Jeff Dunham with her and his brothers (who apparently had a built-in friend as twins…lol). I always joke that our first date was a puppet show with his grandma because that’s kind of exactly what happened. We had our first kiss while watching Free Birds with Zach’s brothers right next to us. And the next day I basically met all of Zach’s family on a fishing trip with his Paca (grandpa).
Zach would say he knew he loved me when we stayed on the phone talking until the wee hours of the morning. I would say he knew earlier, when he told me he loved me when we were still friends. On the bus ride back from an LA media competition in which we first became close, I admitted to him that I thought of him when I thought of love. He replied saying “Some way or another we’re going to grow old together.” And as a words of affirmation person, I want to keep these treasures forever. Like this separate moment before we were dating where he reassured me of how much he cared for me:
And I was in love with Zach. That was the truth and never wasn’t. But I’ll be honest, it kinda shook up our friend group. I was in Once Upon a Mattress starring opposite the mutual friend I was seeing at the time. To try to spare his feelings, we did not tell him we were together right away. We had planned to tell him, but he found out on his own when he saw us kissing by Zach’s car before the start of rehearsal… The princess said no to the prince for a knight? The plot thickens!
Our friend group seemed to crumble after this, but it was becoming glaringly obvious what opinions of me mattered most. Zach was going to be off to college a couple months from then, and I needed to “piss or get off the pot” (as people who like potty metaphors and alliteration would say). I wish feelings could have been saved, but I do not have any regrets. Swapping friend groups post Zach’s graduation even led me back to another lunch table where I became close again with my friend Katie, whom I am still close to now.
College Love
Choosing to go to Northern Arizona University was a no-brainer. My family has had a cabin in Munds Park for close to 40 years and being up north has always been a happy place for me. Actually getting to experience all 4 seasons?? Heck yes. At the time, the 2-hour drive away from where I grew up was also much needed growing room for me. (I honestly recommend living on or near campus during your college years to distance yourself from old routines and mindsets. It is definitely not a money-saving tip so please do what you need to, no judgement here.) And another huge plus of going to NAU was being able to continue an in-person relationship with Zach, whom I had started dating only months before he left for Flagstaff.
Long distance was tough (would not recommend), but definitely taught us a lot about ourselves, our needs, and how much we really cared for each other. Once we were up in Flag together, it felt like a sigh of relief. Zach was already in a co-ed a cappella group with friends he really liked and I was excited to audition. Thankfully, I made it in and we got even more experience being in a friend group together. Zach and I’s relationship has always been based in our friendship and shared interests.
The next couple of years were tough, with a cappella drama akin to Pitch Perfect’s pitch pipe fights, difficult classes, both of our mental health struggles, and both of Zach’s grandparents passing away within a month of each other (one expected, one very sudden). It was difficult for us to imagine being able to get married because, as college students without jobs, we just couldn’t afford to. How would we pay for a place to live together? We were living separately (due to religious expectations of marriage) in housing paid for by our parents. It was a tough time, but I got a job and I started tithing for the first time, meaning I was giving 10% of my income to the church, or back to God. It felt like a weight of worry was lifted off of me. God would make our goal of marriage possible if it was meant to be.
After years of asking when we could make our full commitment to each other official, he somehow surprised me right after our 4 year anniversary in Rocky Point, Mexico. He got our close friends Ben and Jessie Lee to disguise the true motives of the situation under the facade of a “couple's photo shoot” all while my family watched from afar on their hotel balcony. He proposed to me with a fire opal engagement ring and I said I would think about it. JK— I malfunctioned and mumbled “omg I can’t” on repeat until I rebooted and finally stuttered a yes.
We got married after ringing in 2019 and it was a blast to have so many people we loved there to dance their feet off with us until 11pm. We left for our honeymoon the day after and flew to Florida to get aboard our first duo Disney cruise. If you want all the wonderful perks of a regular cruise plus all the magic of Disney, I would highly highly recommend a Disney cruise. Even on the smallest ship in the fleet, we had an entire adults part of the ship complete with a pool, a bar (the Snuggly Duckling), and a comedy/dance club where we danced with the Guardians of the Galaxy.
“Won’t you promise me that you’ll never forget to keep dancing wherever we go next?”
Newlyweds
Once we were living our lives together (both metaphorically and actually), things just felt a little easier. We lived less than 5 minutes away from both of our parents, but it still felt like our space. Zach was working a job he loved while I finished student teaching (I was so pumped to start teaching and to graduate with my new last name) and everything felt okay.
…Until Covid hit. In our small 1bed-1bath, with both of us taking our jobs home, our tiny dining area was now Zach’s computer space and half of our little living room was my remote teaching area. It was during this time when the world seemed to stop that I started to really notice my current mental state and decided to start a journey towards healing. And if you click on that link, you can read how Zach was my biggest supporter throughout that experience.
With the walls of our apartment starting to feel like the trash compactor scene in Star Wars, we knew we needed more room to grow. We always had the plan to expand our family pet-wise and child-wise, but simply would not do it without a little house with some semblance of a yard. In August of 2020, we finalized the purchase of our small little house in Surprise. Unknowingly to us, our future puppy was also born that month. On Halloween, our beloved dog Kida arrived in our lives, making it the first dog either of us had had in some time.
In the midst of lots of change and a world recovering from the pandemic, I continued teaching, which— looking back— was one of the most stressful times of my life, but we were still thinking about expanding our family. I have always wanted to be a mom and the baby fever was STRONG in me. With caring for children being on my mind 24/7 at my job and at my home, it was hard not to wonder about my birth mother. So, in the middle of everything, I reached out to and eventually met my birth mother, all in 2020.
We Feel Like Adults.
The year ahead was long and full of healing. I could not have done it without the steady presence of Zach in my life. He was the only one I felt I could lean on during that time. Not sure if this is relatable, but does anyone else call their friends and cry really hard and it feels really awesome to trust people enough to sob in front of them but then you don’t know what to do in the friendship next and feel like you owe them for needing to tolerate your emotions? Well, with Zach, it’s just the feeling of thankfulness for having such deep trust in him. There is no limit to the emotions I’m allowed to feel and share with him.
We end 2021 in a very different place than we started. I start with taking a break from talking to or being around my parents to reevaluate my life and what I needed to heal to move forward. I ended the year talking with my parents again, going to dinner, and going to mutally-agreed upon family counseling. I started the year testing positive for Covid and ended the year testing positive for pregnancy. I started the year a struggling teacher and ended it a former one.
I start 2022 feeling exhausted from all the real shit that happened to me in 2021. I had been prepared to begin another job directly after leaving teaching, but the timing wasn’t right. I still ended up getting the job, but didn’t start working at this company until August of 2022, well after the birth of my son. The time in between my jobs, before and after having my son, were so crucial to my recovery from teaching and all the emotional craziness of 2020 and 2021. I was finally able to decorate our house and make it a home (seriously, to this day, if you want to know where my mental is at, look at the state of our front room) and get some much-needed rest before and after one of the biggest transitions of my life: becoming a mother.
Zach a silent warrior. He just started counseling, so that’s awesome, but he will do the absolute most in complete silence, needing no audience for his good deeds. At first unbeknownst to me, he took on a lot of video projects (maybe too many) on the side to help us financially, which helped us through the time I was not working. He is honestly such a pure-hearted person and everyday I am thankful to love and be loved by someone like Zach, the someone that is Zach.
“I know what they all say, but I ain’t trying to play. I want to be your end game.”
Reflection & Now
What started as something that appeared to everyone else as a casual high school relationship “for fun” was never that. I was always very serious when it came to my relationship with Zach. I would say we both have sensitive hearts and we knew that about each other. We would never take our friendship so lightly to not fall in love with each other if we ever dated. There has never been another option. Even when I was trying-to-try dating out with other guys in high school, my journal still said “I like this guy, but I think I’m going to marry Zach.” I have always felt that pull to him, like a prophecy I would fulfill. Yeah, the mushy gushy went there, ladies and gentle men.
I will say I do fear not being able to give my son good dating advice when the time comes, as I just don’t have a lot of experience. I started dating Zach at 17-years-old and I wanted to marry him. I understand the concern mine and Zach’s parents must have had, but I am in the belief that when you know you just know, ya know? I love Zach, not because I know what it’s like to date a bunch of crazy people, but because I knew I found a good thing when I found it. Being loved unconditionally and feeling truly accepted by someone was all I ever wanted. It was always him.
For our anniversary this year, we took a cozy trip up to Prescott with our puppy. As a Christmas/anniversary present, I got a custom vinyl record made of a playlist I created with 10 important songs from our relationship. Below is the playlist for said vinyl with the album cover for your viewing and listening pleasure. Without giving the story behind all these songs (maybe I’ll do that eventually…), the playlist begins with Hazy, our first duet, and ends with a song Zach showed me as reassurance in a hard time— that still makes me ugly cry every time I listen to it.
Of course, this story is still going and I am excited to share more in future posts. It was wonderful to relive and reflect on our story for my readers’ entertainment. I had a great time and I hope y’all did too. And more than anything else, I wish for everyone reading to experience a love like this or whatever kind of love you’re needing. Seriously, a big hug to all of you!
“To love another person is to see the face of God.”
—Victor Hugo / Les Misérables
NEW: Art Show
I really want to share more snippets from my poems and would love to share other art that I am proud of. Make sure to scroll to the end of the blog each week to see what may be featured. 🥳
To start, I will share a snippet from a poem I wrote recently. I was trying to make my own version of 40 Love Letters, one of my favorite poems. Here’s “honest letter” #26, which is on theme:
Dear Zach,
I’ve told you everything.
But I still feel
like I’m stealing glances at you.
I don’t think I’ll ever feel
like enough.
But I am.
Time for some TLCCC
Treating myself to: an anniversary getaway with my guy ♥️
Listening to: T-Pain being amazingly talented in this amazingly recorded concert of live covers. The recorded versions just don’t hit the same. I listen to the mashup from 5 years ago, which I added to my ongoing blog playlist.
Crafting: I am actually reorganizing all my crafting supplies. And trying to decide which bobbles and trinkets become sensory bin items for my son.
Craving: SO MANY SWEETS— WHO AM I?? 🎂 Though I have had a bad tummy lately 😞
Caring SO much about: My new journal 😍 I guess I have been crafting in my journal. Was already leaning into the style and then I saw this great TikTok that I couldn’t find in time to post this… I’ll update later!
I love the retelling of your love story in this post 💕 and how I wish I was listening to your Spotify playlist while I was reading it 😊