I Should Have Gone to Therapy Sooner (& Why You Need Therapy Too)
12: what kept me away and what made me stay + updates and a poll!
This week I had originally planned to write about my love for all things Disney. I knew I had a Disney vacation this week and I would hopefully be emotionally pulled to a few movies during the trip. Disney did NOT disappoint! And as I spent a day at Universal, 3 days in Disneyland and a night at Oogie Boogie Bash, I was—of course—amazingly inspired and now have a lot of nerdy ideas for posts going forward, but unfortunately didn’t have any ready to post this week. Also, I have yet to figure out how to caption a photo on mobile soooo no Saturday morning blog. Dangit.
For this week, I will keep things a little shorter than recent posts as I talk about…
Raise your hand if you’ve been to therapy! Great— a couple of you. My goal is for most everyone to raise their hand when I ask this in the future. I want to help others realize what I wish I had realized years ago: I should have gone to therapy sooner.
What Kept Me Away From Therapy
“So why should I feel crappy about something that makes me happy?”
1 - Stigma
For some reason, there is still judgement surrounding therapy and getting the help you need via treatment, medication, etc. Even though times are a-changing, there are many people of older generations that want to hold onto what they think worked for them in the past. This tuck-under-the-rug method is passed down from generation to generation. I grew up with the belief that if I went to counseling or therapy, it was akin to admitting I was crazy. And if I was on medication for mental health struggles, that meant I was insane. But now, I know therapy is like a checkup at the doctor, but for your mental health. And medication is like finally getting tap shoes to join the tap number everyone’s been dancing in except for you. I chose to be a cycle-breaker. I chose to embark on this journey those before me didn’t dare. I relate heavily to Mirabel from Encanto (screenshot below) as the one to— not cause, but— reveal the brokenness and make it possible to rebuild.
2 - Money & Time
I always thought that going to therapy meant a certain number of sessions had to be had, like a quota. In my mind, it was like jail: I did the crime (being depressed) and now they would take my time. And the cost of counseling was like bail. But there are so many great insurance policies, online counseling through BetterHelp and other apps, as well as organizations with the goal of funding for people who can’t afford the amount of sessions they need. It’s not about meeting a quota or “getting you in and out in a jiffy.” It’s about getting the help we need. And at one point, I was meeting with a counselor once a week. At another, it was every other week independently and the off-weeks were spent at group therapy. Everyone’s stories are different and the number of sessions needed is not one-size-fits-all.
3 - Fear
There was a big part of me that believed I was crazy and a big part of me that was afraid of what I might find. But the biggest part of me was more scared of what I would become if I didn’t dive into the depths of myself. The photo above is from Pixar’s Far From the Tree (watch on Disney+). In this beautifully animated short, a mother raccoon is letting herself be guided by her trauma and this leads to a severed relationship with her baby. In a flash-forward, that baby raccoon has grown and is now a mother herself. She chooses to face her past hurts to break the cycle and have a better relationship with her own baby. I want this for myself. And so far, everything I have entrusted a therapist with has far surpassed my expectations. Healing in myself and changes in relationships I had previously labeled as impossible were built into existence. None of it was quick or easy, but it has been beyond worth it.
So, You Should Go to Therapy
“I feel badly about you feeling badly about me feeling badly about you.”
1 - Because it can be fun and feel really great!
When I go to therapy, I don’t have to worry about sounding wrong or right or bad or good. I can talk about anything that’s been happening and it’s completely confidential and won’t be judged! Good counselors and therapists will be good listeners and won’t take your session time to shame you like someone without training would. I look forward to my sessions every other week because they teach me why I react the way I do in certain situations, it creates a safe place to bring up questions that keep me up at night, and I get to spill all the tea from the last 2 weeks of my life.
2 - Because it actually helps (when you’re honest)
I’ve been so afraid of my big emotions being proof that I was crazy for years, but now I can actually leave a counseling session feeling 100% normal and not “crazy” at all. Therapy has helped me realize we are all humans struggling for different human reasons. But I also know some friends that continue to feel shitty even after going to therapy because they chose to keep information from their counselor. If you know you’re someone who tries to filibuster their way out of talking about their feelings, please tell your counselor so they can help you help yourself. Your counselor can only help you as much as you allow them to help you. And when you let them, you can discover so many ways to improve your day-to-day, in ways you never thought were possible before!
“Maybe take some time off. You can’t live in denial of setting it right.”
3 - Because you become a better person for yourself and everyone in your life.
When you dig deeper into the reasons why you do things, you become cognizant to things about yourself you were completely blind to before. It’s a lot but it’s exhilarating when you finally get a handle on certain habits enough to talk through your feelings instead of having an unhelpful reaction. When you have the ability to process your emotions in a healthy way, you will eventually be able to guide other loved ones in your life, like your kids, to process their emotions in a healthy way. What a legacy to leave behind! And what a wholesome way to live now instead of the way you were settling for before.
“Can you teach me how to feel good?”
Hey there friends! Thanks for reading!
Click here to listen to the music of Gabbin’ Away Again and click above to subscribe if you haven’t already! Be sure to LIKE and SHARE this post with friends you think would relate. Buuuuut before I go…
HEY YOU!
I would love to hear from you on what topic you’d enjoy hearing about next week. Like I said, I wanted to do a Disney post, but I am open to ideas! As always, paid subscribers will have more pull with their votes and suggestions, but I would love to hear what all subscribers and readers think.
Comment, message me, or vote in the poll below:
Have the best week! ✨
this is so good gabby! hopefully more people will feel the same way and take mental health more seriously, and without the negative connotation it can bring 🤍